Must must must

It’s autumn holiday in Belgium. Finally, I must add.

Even though school only started the 1st of September here, eight weeks is a long time to keep going. And not just for the children, I can also really feel it. Eight weeks of rushing every morning. Eight weeks of trying not to be late. Of  getting up on time. Of getting dressed quickly. Of eating a hastened breakfast. Eight weeks of ‘we must do this and that’ and ‘we can’t be late’. The boys were really tired and weary last week. They were emotional about everything, got upset over nothing and hardly could get out of bed. I even kept them home a day and they slept and slept and slept. 
Honestly, I could feel it too. My patience was completely gone and all I wanted to do was sleep. I’d even set an alarm in the afternoon to be sure I would not fall asleep and be too late to pick the boys up again…

The holiday is well on its way and we have taken it really easy. We sleep in. Pyjamas stay on half of the day. They boys play, have fun, laugh, run, make an incredible mess, and I play with them or let them play while I read. There is nothing that we have to do. I’ts recovery time and it’s lovely. It also made me think. Why do we do this to our children? Why do they have to do so much? Why are there so many rules? Why does school start so early in the morning? Why are schools so ridiculously strict about being late, even when you have a good excuse? I never had a boss that was as strict as the schools here are. Can you imagine your boss getting upset about you being late because of a traffic jam? Or because of a unexpected sick child? As grown-ups we understand things happen.  Life is hard enough and yes, we know we are in trouble if we can’t pay our bills, but for being late at work or an appointment sometime? That is just bad luck. But I see my children grow up with a fear of being late and with a disliking for rules. They are not even four yet and it’s incredible how many things they already must do.

A solution to this is not easily found. Yes, I could keep them home till they are 6 and going to school is compulsory. Then they don’t have to do anything for the next years, except obey some very important safety rules (traffic etc.). They’d also miss out on a lot of great activities and on making friends.They would have no idea about the school rhythm and this whole discussion will start again when they are six.

What I can do is keep them home from school sometimes, just to recover. So far this often results in a ‘bad day’ together as the boys seem so happy to not have to do anything that they forget about all the rules we have at home. 

So honestly, I think things should be a bit more relaxed in our children’s lives. School could be a little less about rules and more about play. When my boys play ‘pretend school’ together at home it’s all about telling the other one what he must do or can’t do. ‘Stand on the dot.’ ‘Stand in a line.’ ‘Don’t run.’ ‘Don’t touch that.’  ‘Eat your fruit now.’ ‘Go to the toilet.’ ‘Sit down.’ ‘You can only play with that, not with this…’ 

Rules are important, especially for important things concerning safety in the house (careful on the stairs, don’t throw or play with cutlery, etc.) or on the street (never run into the street, always cross with a grown up etc.). But I also think too many rules are simply too much too handle and they will start to do the opposite. And that’s where things can easily go wrong.

Halloween-costumes everywhere

Friday was the last school day before the autumn holiday started and all children were allowed to come to school wearing a costume. The boys were quite excited and really enjoyed going to school looking like a big bird/ vampire/ flying monster with a cape. They drew a lot of attention at 8:15 in the morning cycling to school looking like this:

They were not the only class doing this though, when we walked to school it seemed all kids for all schools were dressed up. We met knights and princesses, pumpkins and dinosaurs, superman and batman, spiders and ghosts. It was great to see so many happy children. It really put a smile on my face (and on many other peoples’ faces).

Music lessons

Last month we started taking our boys to bilingual music lessons. I want them to develop a love for music and I was very happy to have found a music class for children from 3 years old. It is very surprising to see how much children can already pick up. Learning about rhythm and notes, trying out different instruments and learning some dance sequences. It’s absolutely great. There are two side effects to these music lessons though, that are worth mentioning: one very great, the other one…

See, the funny thing is that, since the lessons started, music suddenly is everything for one of our boys. The minute he comes home from school, he grabs his guitar and starts to sing songs and recites all the verses he learned in the last months. He mixes them up sometimes but there are at least 20 different ones in 3 different languages. And sometimes he even improvises and sings about what happened that day. It is really great to see how much he enjoys music. There is a smile on his face constantly when he holds his guitar. (Our other son is a little less interested but will sometimes play along.)

The other thing is that our boys now discovered YouTube… We had to look up some of the songs they danced to in the class and we found them with a video that showed the dance as well. But this also resulted in them realising we have a tablet, which we had managed to hide successfully from their lives for nearly 4 years…

So now we very often have to play the following videos because they want to do those dances. And from one song, they discover the next one and it never stops.. . So yes, I will share the videos here, because when I suffer, you all can suffer a little with me 😉


and the worst song in history:

Going to the toilet…

Once children are fully potty-trained going to the toilet is not an issue anymore, right? At first you regularly remind them and soon they tell you when they need to go themselves and as they grow older they will eventually stop doing this and just go. Yeah, that’s what I thought. The reality with 3-year olds is a bit different. Let me tell you what happens when a 3-year old child needs to go to the toilet.

3-year old is playing and suddenly he screams very loudly: ‘AAAAAAA Pipiiiiiiiii!!!’
He stops what he is doing and runs to mama. (Usually this is the opposite direction of the toilet.)
Mom calls: ‘Go the toilet, go, go, go!’
3-year old: ‘Okay!’ Runs away and gets distracted by a toy.
Mom: ‘That is not the toilet, go do your pipi!’
3-year old lets go of toy, goes in the direction of the toilet. Stops. Comes back to Mommy.’ Mom, I will put my pants down all the way so no accidents.’
Mom: ‘Great, now hurry.’
3-year old runs off again.
BUMP.
‘Outch.’
Silence.
3-year old runs back to Mommy again. ‘Mom, I hurt my …. (fill in). Please give a kiss.
Mommy gives a kiss. ‘Now go, before it’s too late.’
3-year old runs to the toilet again.
And is either on time. Or not.

Back to school

On Monday all the schools in Belgium started again after a holiday of 2 whole months. On the one hand I was looking forward to it, when the boys are in school I have much more time for my work, but on the other hand I was dreading the morning rush. Getting up early is not something any of us is very good at. And I hate being late so there is always this rush of doing too many things in too little time.

Monday went very well though, we had managed to get the boys in bed on time the night before and they were actually very excited. Even breakfast went down without a problem.

Tuesday still went very well, even though one of the boys did not manage to eat his whole breakfast. But the other one made up for this by having three breakfasts 🙂

Wednesday was difficult. They really did not want to get out of bed, so eventually we had to run to school. And this on a day that I don’t have to make lunchboxes for them, as school is finished at 12:15. Wednesday afternoon was mostly spend in bed, by all three of us yes. Zzzzzzz

On Thursday we were late again. I thought we were early but then they took forever to brush their teeth and needed one more pipi. They also cycled to school in such a way that I am sure they are holding the record for ‘slowest bicycle ride ever’.

On Friday I did not want to get up anymore. But I did it anyway, repeating my mantra ‘it’s the last day, tomorrow is the weekend’. The boys echoed my words and together we made it. They were not even the last ones in the class.

Hooray, only one more pick-up and the first week has been conquered. Weekend!

The dentist

Let me start by admitting I have a fear of going to the dentist. It’s not rational, as I have never had any issues with my teeth, not even a small cavity. But I really don’t like going there, I can never keep my mouth open during the check-up and I always come home with pain in my teeth, cheeks or jaw that I did not have before.

But being a responsible parent, means I have to take my children to the dentist for a check-up. So at some point I made an appointment for all of us. As responsible parents you show your children that a dentist is nothing to fear, right. So an appointment for all of us, meant we could show them by example.

When the date drew nearer, I could already feel the anxiety building in my body. There I was telling my boys that a dentist was nothing to fear if they brushed their teeth well, while I did not feel that way at all. I did a good job though, the boys were quite excited about doing something new.

The dentist visit went very well. The boys opened their mouths better than I ever could and were very interested in the explanation of all the instruments on the table. When they both had their turn, they said: ‘Now mommy!” and watched while I sat in the chair. As I had not been in years there was some cleaning to do, so they soon lost interest and started playing while I was being tortured. When it was finally over, I could feel my body relaxing. No cavities. So no need to put myself through this when the boys have to go again.  Not sure they’ll want to go though. The dentist told them to give up their pacifier and that was not news they were taking in well…

In the middle of the night…

Some parents are lucky. They have children that are perfect sleepers. Or they only had ‘nightshifts’ in those first months after birth to do nightly feedings.

Not everybody is that lucky. Our boys are nearly 3.5 years old and they still wake us up very regularly so we still suffer from disturbed sleep.
You don’t believe me?  Well, let me make a list of the things that happen here in the middle of the night…

  • A bad dream
  • A lost teddybear
  • A lost pacifier
  • The blankets are on the floor
  • They have fallen out of bed
  • They need to pee
  • They peed next to the potty by accident
  • They forgot they needed to pee and wet the bed
  • They want water
  • They want milk
  • They want something to eat
  • They suddenly decide they want to play
  • They want to ask if it’s morning yet
  • They want to sleep in your bed
  • They want you to sleep in their bed
  • They want to sleep on the sofa
  • They want a different blanket
  • “There is a dog in the bed.” (Just to be clear, we don’t have dogs)
  • Growing pains

This list keeps growing. It seems there are endless reasons for them to wake us up. And so the black circles around our eyes remain…

Supermama

One of the nice things about young children is that they often believe their parents can do anything. And be honest, most days it feels like we must be able to do anything and it can be quite a struggle.
Sometimes my boys expect things that are impossible though, and no, they are not asking me to fly them to the moon or something exciting like that. On a nearly daily basis I have discussions with my boys about the weather…They really believe I can change it  😀

‘Mom, I don’t like the sun in my face. Turn it off.
(This one I can do by moving them in the shade.)

‘Mom, it’s too warm, fix it.’

(Ehm, stick your head in the fridge sweetie. )
(Ehm, you don’t really need to wear a jacket with 30 degrees, take it off, that helps.)
(Go inside/ move into the shade.)

‘Mom, it’s raining, I don’t want to get wet.’
(I put on the cover.)
(Wear a raincoat /use an umbrella my boy.)
(Go in the house, sweetie.)

But now the real challenge. When we are walking/cycling to school they say: ‘Mom, I don’t like the wind, stop it.’

Ehm….. Right.

Any suggestions?