Back to school

On Monday all the schools in Belgium started again after a holiday of 2 whole months. On the one hand I was looking forward to it, when the boys are in school I have much more time for my work, but on the other hand I was dreading the morning rush. Getting up early is not something any of us is very good at. And I hate being late so there is always this rush of doing too many things in too little time.

Monday went very well though, we had managed to get the boys in bed on time the night before and they were actually very excited. Even breakfast went down without a problem.

Tuesday still went very well, even though one of the boys did not manage to eat his whole breakfast. But the other one made up for this by having three breakfasts 🙂

Wednesday was difficult. They really did not want to get out of bed, so eventually we had to run to school. And this on a day that I don’t have to make lunchboxes for them, as school is finished at 12:15. Wednesday afternoon was mostly spend in bed, by all three of us yes. Zzzzzzz

On Thursday we were late again. I thought we were early but then they took forever to brush their teeth and needed one more pipi. They also cycled to school in such a way that I am sure they are holding the record for ‘slowest bicycle ride ever’.

On Friday I did not want to get up anymore. But I did it anyway, repeating my mantra ‘it’s the last day, tomorrow is the weekend’. The boys echoed my words and together we made it. They were not even the last ones in the class.

Hooray, only one more pick-up and the first week has been conquered. Weekend!

The dentist

Let me start by admitting I have a fear of going to the dentist. It’s not rational, as I have never had any issues with my teeth, not even a small cavity. But I really don’t like going there, I can never keep my mouth open during the check-up and I always come home with pain in my teeth, cheeks or jaw that I did not have before.

But being a responsible parent, means I have to take my children to the dentist for a check-up. So at some point I made an appointment for all of us. As responsible parents you show your children that a dentist is nothing to fear, right. So an appointment for all of us, meant we could show them by example.

When the date drew nearer, I could already feel the anxiety building in my body. There I was telling my boys that a dentist was nothing to fear if they brushed their teeth well, while I did not feel that way at all. I did a good job though, the boys were quite excited about doing something new.

The dentist visit went very well. The boys opened their mouths better than I ever could and were very interested in the explanation of all the instruments on the table. When they both had their turn, they said: ‘Now mommy!” and watched while I sat in the chair. As I had not been in years there was some cleaning to do, so they soon lost interest and started playing while I was being tortured. When it was finally over, I could feel my body relaxing. No cavities. So no need to put myself through this when the boys have to go again.  Not sure they’ll want to go though. The dentist told them to give up their pacifier and that was not news they were taking in well…

In the middle of the night…

Some parents are lucky. They have children that are perfect sleepers. Or they only had ‘nightshifts’ in those first months after birth to do nightly feedings.

Not everybody is that lucky. Our boys are nearly 3.5 years old and they still wake us up very regularly so we still suffer from disturbed sleep.
You don’t believe me?  Well, let me make a list of the things that happen here in the middle of the night…

  • A bad dream
  • A lost teddybear
  • A lost pacifier
  • The blankets are on the floor
  • They have fallen out of bed
  • They need to pee
  • They peed next to the potty by accident
  • They forgot they needed to pee and wet the bed
  • They want water
  • They want milk
  • They want something to eat
  • They suddenly decide they want to play
  • They want to ask if it’s morning yet
  • They want to sleep in your bed
  • They want you to sleep in their bed
  • They want to sleep on the sofa
  • They want a different blanket
  • “There is a dog in the bed.” (Just to be clear, we don’t have dogs)
  • Growing pains

This list keeps growing. It seems there are endless reasons for them to wake us up. And so the black circles around our eyes remain…

Pyjamas

What do you wear when you sleep? … Okay, and now think back to the time before you had children. Is there a difference? No? Wow, I am not sure how you managed that.

See, before I had I my boys, my mood decided what I wore at night. If I wore anything at all. But there was definitely the possibility that I wore something that looked a little sexy. But those sexy negligees have been at the bottom of my wardrobe for some years now. It all changed when I was pregnant. I suddenly realised that I would be in the hospital for a while and might need something that covered everything if I had to roam the hallways. So I bought my first full pyjama since I was a kid: a pair of long soft baggy pants and a vest with buttons, so I would have easy access for breastfeeding.

Once the boys arrived I realised that one of ‘those pyjamas’ was not enough. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not the kind of person that wants to walk around in pyjamas all day. But when you have to get up at night to tend to your children and you’re wearing only a short negligee, you’ll get cold very quickly. So then you have to put on socks, slippers, a bathrobe and/or pants, depending on the season. All this takes time and effort, and you are seriously sleep deprived. And now imagine doing that six times per night. You have to prepare for the worst every time, as you never know how long it takes to get your child back to sleep. So, very soon I had more soft and cosy but very not sexy pyjama pants in my possession than I had ever had in my life. Because really, the only thing you want when you are woken up in the middle of the night is to be back in your bed as soon as possible, preferably while you and your bed are still warm.

As the weeks and months go by, and you are still doing this 3 to 6 times per night, the negligees end up at the bottom of the pile. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it still has not changed. My children were born more than 3 years ago and I still have to get out of bed at night regularly to comfort them.

I don’t care about negligees anymore. All I care about is sleep.

Father’s Day – some craft ideas

Father’s Day is coming up. Yes, I can just hear you think– Yaiks, there is no time, I am too busy and I have no idea what to make or buy.
We all know how busy we get, so here are some quick ideas to still be able to give your man a present from the children and you.

  • Take a walk to a photo-boot (to be found in metro- and train-stations) and take a (funny) picture of you and your kids together. Either make 1 picture or a set of 4 for in his wallet. Frame it, or not. Just see how much time there is. This idea is perfect when you have a very small child.
  • Get the finger paint out, put your child’s hands or feet in it, put them carefully on a canvas and your are done. Best done before bath time  to ease the clean-up 🙂 Perfect with a very small child and also great gift idea for grandparents.
  • Get the finger paint out for your toddler/ older children and give them a canvas to make their own art. Cheap canvas can be found at any Action shop.
  • Buy some white cloth handkerchiefs for men (Hema has them) and some permanent clothing markers. Have the kids draw on them. Wrap them up. Can also be done with tea towels, t-shirts or an apron, but I find that handkerchiefs are the most likely to actually be used.
  • Design some labels for beer or wine bottles. This sounds more fancy than it is, just cut out some white cardboard or thick paper and make sure it fits around the bottle you have picked out as a gift. Give this paper to your children to be drawn or painted on. When they are done you use sticky tape or glue to fasten is around the bottle and you have a perfect gift.
  • Make cards. Go to Action or Hema and buy loads of stickers and some empty cards. Let the kids design their own card for daddy. They can of course also use their markers, pencils and stamps.

Hopefully this was helpful. Enjoy the fun!

Silence

Sometimes she has a few moments

of quietly floating amongst the clouds

then the noise starts

again

like a helicopter whirring

closer and closer

a crescendo of voices

mom, mommy, mom!

silence

is a twin mother’s

needle in the haystack

 

(c) Carien Touwen 2018

*PS. This weekend I went on a writers retreat and this is one of the pieces I wrote during the workshops.

Blackboard paint

So I bought blackboard paint and painted a big piece of one of the walls in our living room with it. When it was all dried and finished I explained to the boys that they could now write on this wall with their chalk. They were very happy with my surprise.
‘Wow,’ said the first. And he started scribbling on the wall.
‘Wow,’ said the second. And he walked to another wall and before I realised what happened he had scribbled some huge scratches on our normal walls.
Aaargh!

The why-phase

The Why-phase has started. I don’t think I have ever had so many questions per day. Here are some examples of the questions I got in the last hour.

  • Why are you wearing shoes?
  • Why are you not wearing shoes?
  • Why are dogs not wearing shoes?
  • Why is the grass green?
  • Why is it not orange?
  • Why can I not draw on the table?
  • Why do I have to draw on paper?
  • Why is the white not working?
  • Why do we not have black paper?
  • Why is it finished?
  • Why does the shop not have black paper?
  • Why don’t you go to the shop to get black paper?
  • Why can I not put white on the wall?
  • What is this?
  • Why is this a bellybutton?
  • Why do I have a bellybutton?
  • Why do you have a mole?
  • Why do you have so many moles?
  • Why do I have moles?
  • Why do I not have more yet?
  • Why are you sitting there?
  • Why are you drinking tea?
  • Why are you thirsty?
  • Why are you tired?
  • Mom, why are you tired?
  • Mom?
  • Mommy?
  • Moooooo-om!